Feb 2, 2008
Paralyzed by Choice
Sometimes before I’ve even admitted to myself that I’m stressed, I’ll get these sharp pains in my lower stomach, informing me that something is making me a little too anxious. I’ve gotten these pains since I was a kid, and they have always occurred when I’m all tensed up. Usually the stressor is obvious—Finals, break ups, middle school—but every now and again, I’m surprised when my belly informs me that I’m worrying too much.
A couple of days ago, I got one of those surprise stomach aches. Having too many amazing opportunities for next year was making me sick.
I had been trying to decide whether or not to continue with the Princeton-in-Asia program, and if I continued what positions I would apply for. I really don’t want to choose anything; I want to choose everything. I want to strengthen the fledgling Nepalese democracy and be an editor in Hong Kong. I want to be a newscaster in the Philippines and a staff writer in Cambodia. I also don’t want a job at all so I can devote myself to learning Chinese. In reality, every step in one direction is a step away from something else I want to do. I guess, for me, choice can be literally painful.
In the end, I decided I’m staying in Asia for another year and that I want to continue with Princeton-in-Asia. About what posts I want, I gave PiA a list of positions that I think are amazing.
I hope they’re not prone to stomach pains when they have to make a choice.
That’s awesome that you’ve made a decision. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’m going to do in the future too, it’s exhilarating isn’t it? Although I’m locked in for 3 years really and then is when the decision making has to come back again… But congrats on making a choice! Can’t wait to hear what you do next.
Hmm… I know that this blog is mainly for people who know you, and I certainly don’t fit in that category. I still gotta comment though, if only because one of the things I like about blogs is the idea that anyone can stumble across them by accident. It’s kind of cool, like a reverse treasure hunt or something. Instead of you finding the treasure, it finds you.
Anyways, I happened upon your blog because I was looking for study abroad and whatnot in Asia, and Princeton in Asia popped up in google. Your pictures are cool but most of all I like how you write. Your entries are like little tiny packages, always so neat and everything comes together, you tie them up well. I’m sure you are so busy with what you’re doing, but I hope you manage to keep up with your blog through all your adventures. It’s really fun reading it and maybe it will inspire me to finally go to Asia myself, who knows…
much respect!
(: (No blog for me, too lazy)